Steve Milton had some good ideas here but overall this one just didn't resonate with me for three reasons.
1. I never had a chance to like and care about the main characters. There were so many wasted situations and unexplored backstories I got frustrated.
2. That ridiculous ending with the fathers...Oh and the speed they declared they're love for each other made my jaw drop.
3. The way Milton wrote this, most of the time I felt like I was listening to the voice-over telling me the story. Think Martin Scorsese's Wise Guys done wrong.
That being said I think I'll keep my this writer because there might be magic in the future.